my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
