what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
