Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
