Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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