Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
