its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
