Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
