She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
