Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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