thus making me awesome and them whores
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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