Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize