Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize