on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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