when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
