Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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