he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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