He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
this hospital has no fireball
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So vagazzling was a success
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize