Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
420 ftw
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
