At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
