i need an iv and a liver transplant
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
