She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
