Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
