I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
