I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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