Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
