fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
