y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
