why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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