I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
