Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
