It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
