party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the condom got lost in my hair
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
