I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is the high leading the old right now
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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