I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
