we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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