i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
