Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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