and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize