I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize