Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
