i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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