theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
