She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
