It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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