Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
