I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
