I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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