How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
