It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
