she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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