Sry I called you an 8
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
