just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
