I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
