Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
