She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
