i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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