Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
