Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize