we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
