Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
